Lap Band… My journey!

Truth of the matter is, I have been a yo-yo dieter all my life! I have been thin and average and down right fat! It does wonders for my self esteem… No really it does!
I find myself this time around having no motivation to do something about the extra weight I have put on. Untill now, today I signed up for Acvitate with the YMCA, I already know how to use all the machines and my form is awesomely still in tact( I found that out when I did boot camp) But, getting a refresher is always a good thing.

When I am in the gym I am like a machine I push myself to limits that even astonde me! The thrill of excersing is fantastic, I am one of those sick people who love to excersie.
My problem this time around is a couple factors.
1. As I said before I lack the motivation
2. I cannot see the small picture( baby steps right now is impossiable to see)- I can see my moon face and I hate it my clothes well…( no such thing as the “smaller” picture when you significantly overweight, and right now I am). I cannot “imagine” a smaller me. I know she is dying to come out and meet the world again… I can’t( HATE THAT WORD) find the will power to go to the gym and bust my butt on my own. I need help. I am in too deep and I am drowning, not like depression drowning, I am kinda frozen in this state. I tried diet pills but, honestly those raise my BP so high AND it does wonders for my already bad temper. ( sarcasm ) This time around I need an intervention! Which comes in the form of some barbaric way to lose weight! DUM DUM DUM- The Lap Band!!!

I wanted the Gastric Bypass untill my friend who had one, her bowls herniated… Um, no thank you! So, I opted for the Lap Band. My Dr. is the one that told me about it. She acutally has really been a supporter in all of this. I looked into it and I quailfy! Am I happy about that? No. You see, it’s not about a quick fix! It’s about a lifestyle change. Having the Lap Band is going to help me with that lifestyle…
I know what your thinking… ( or maybe not ) What makes me think I am going to better with the Lap Band then doing it alone? Really, I have no concrete anwser to that(Hey, at least I am honest).
Maybe because, I will not be able to become arrogant and start cheating on my diet and gain it all back?
Maybe really everything is all in my head and I have made myself belive the only way to lose weight is doing this. Either way- I am happy with the choice I have made.

My journey is not going to be an easy one. 

More to come!!!

He’s Just Not That Into You– The MOVIE!!

I am super excited about this movie! 
I am CALLING ALL SINGLE WOMEN!!  COME OUT! COME OUT!  WHEREVER YOU ARE!!!!
Hell even if you are not single…   If you are a FAN of the book!
This is a must see!!  I loved this book for so many different reasons, it was the eye opener I needed, finally  a book that cut out all the BS and, gave it to us females straight, It allowed us to empower ourselves and each other to dump the unhealthy relationships!
THUS SAVING THE PRETTY! 
And if you didn’t read the book and you are stuck in a rut…  Then you are “wasting the pretty”
So, instead of lying to ourselves we could finally do the decent and self-respecting thing, by letting go of a dead-end relationship!  
Trust me you will not be disappointed!  You WILL have your AHH MOMENT!  I swear by Oprah( ha ha )

I compiled a list of my favorite reasons why a relationship did not work-out… Enjoy!!

Things I have heard or used myself:

1.  He’s intimidated by my success, beauty, smarts! 
Um, NO!  You’re not intimidating!  Because,  if a man wants that in a women he will be all over your success, beauty and smarts…  Sorry…  He just wasn’t that into you… 

2.  He’s just not ready; he wants to play the field a little bit before he settles down!! 
PFFFF whatever!  This is one that I had to read over and over again!  No he wasn’t into me ENOUGH! 

3.  He is really busy!  In this day in age, there is NO excuse!  You deserve a phone call, a text, an email, and instant message (even if it is offline)  If a man is missing you, he will get in touch even if its by a messenger pigeon

4.  In a moment of weakness you call him…If he doesn’t get back to you that same week you left a message… GUESS WHAT???  He wasn’t THAT into you!  And trust me if you are stuck to your cell phone waiting for a call…  You GET WHAT YOU DESERVE…  ESP.  IF YOU KEEP IT GOING ON FOR MONTHS…  ITS YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A DUMMY… waiting and wishing, never got anybody anywhere!  Don’t waste the pretty…

5.  And my PERSONAL FAVORITE:  HE STRUNG ME ALONG…  HE LEAD ME ON…  HE LEAD ME TO BELIEVE….  NO NO AND NO!!!  No such thing!  And if you read the book…  You will learn that he lead you on because you allowed IT!  Take responsiblity for YOUR actions!!!  You will become a better dater and person for it!

That’s my story… I am sticking to it.  If I offend I don’t mean to…
If I hit a nerve ask yourself WHY?  And then go out and read the book! 
It will change your life!  It did mine! 
Which is why I am married now! 
(thank you I will be here all week!)
XOXO

History will keep me warm!

I watched out 44th president make history yesterday!  I watched with allot of mixed feelings, the most shocking of all was sense of pride.  Over 1 million people packed themselves onto the Mall to see President Obama swear in!    I do not, will not discuss politics!  Nor, will I ever tell who I voted for,  all I gotta say is this…  Please Mr President for our country’s sake and for our children’s sake…  Don’t let us down! 

Enough of that!!

What was really cool to watch was the chemistry between Michelle  Obama And the President!  I hadn’t payed attention to the dynamics of them before and I gotta say I was impressed, to tears even, especially when they had their first dance “At Last” sang Beyonce.  I can see why she almost cried…  It was pretty fantastic! 

I will wait to see what the next four years bring!  I have faith!  I have to have faith…  Really what else do we have?

It’s “Amazing!!!”

 My guilty indulgence for the next six weeks is  The Bachelor, this train wreck of a show,  has managed to become my entertianment every Monday @ 8:00 for two hours.
I gotta say I am kinda ashamed… 
Watching  15 women lie, cheat and steal just for a little attention from Bachelor Jason Mesnick.  Poor guy! 
WHERE DID ABC find these women???
At times during the show  I am ashamed to be a women! 
So, I asked myself , amd I being  judgemental??
On Monday I stepped out of the Dolores Box…  I really tried to be objective…  AND then, I relized that I was not being judgemental at all,  these women are true dum – dums… 

Then we have the over use of the word “AMAZING”  example:
I am so excited to be here with these 25 AMAZING WOMEN and the dates are just so AMAZING, WOW! HER BOOBIES ARE AMAZING!  Holy Snikeys, her smile is AMAZING, This whole expirence was AMAZING! I am NOW ENGAGED to an AMAZING WOMEN
So, I found the “amazing” drinking game!  On Monday honey and I poured oursleves a glass of wine and we took sips every single time the word amazing was used…  Guess what?  We had to pour a second glass and we finshed that one off too!  And we were not even half way through the show!  It’s a really good thing we didn’t use tequila we would have been trashed!   
Hi my name is Dolores and I am addicted to BAD TV!! 

Do you watch the Bachelor?  And what do you think about it…

Me in six words…

Can you describe your life in six words?
 Here is mine…

( It’s been on my myspace page forever!  And yes I did make it up all on my own…)

Lived, Loved, Lost, Learn, regrets NOTHING!!

I have lived a good life, a hard, a sad life…  None the less it’s made me who I am…  And honestly I really like the person I have become!   

I have loved…  Truly, madly, deeply in life… 
I have loved and it’s been unhealthy, toxic even;  which is why I have a hard time letting people in and I don’t give my trust easily… 

I have lost… Many Many Many times I have lost…  I have had to watch (what I thought at the time was the love of my life) the love of my life ride away into the sunset, happy to leave me behind, as he was was driving away with who seemed to be his latest “conquest… ” I had to endure seeing him drive away as my heart shattered into a million pieces… 
The only thing that was left was me and my dignity…  Which I picked up,dusted off…

 Each time, I have made mistakes, I have learned a lesson or two some had to be repeated because I am a very stubborn person.. None the less Karma taught me MANY lessons that I will NOT REPEAT!

 I regret nothing!  No matter how hard the lesson was and no matter how hard I fell…  I REGRET NOTHING!! 

 

 

See if you can describe your life in six words…

 

I tag..

 Sam-

Jenni

Moon Beams and Day Dreams

Tonya

Shannon

Dizzy Girl

Susey

Tamika

 And any of you that want to do it! 

He left a big hole in my heart…

Ever since Oct., I have been trying wrap my mind around my beloved Beau getting ran over… You would think I was over his death…  I am not. 
Beau was the keeper of my secrets all those nights I spent alone…  He was there for me every step of the way…  And he never stopped loving me…  He was an awesome dog… 

I go to the Effingham Co.  Shelter once a week (at least) it’s now a form of therapy.   I spend most of my time in the cat room… I know they don’t get much human interaction they seem so grateful for the time I spend in there, scratching behind their ears, it’s an instant purr (music to my ear)…  They will all paw at the cages each of them vying for my attention.  I wish their living conditions were better!  (When I win the lottery the first thing I am doing to do is donate to the Effingham Co Animal Shelter so, that the cats will get a better room and living space…  The next one I will donate to will be Liberty Co.  )
Then, I venture out into the dog room and I walk by the cages…  These dogs know that they in “jail”…  Nothing anybody can say will convince me otherwise, I walk very slowly, I look carefully at them..  Their eyes tell me everything without words.  Every once in awhile a dog will hit a nerve and I will ask to take him out…  Or I might see a dog that I recognize from other visits and I ask to see the dog…  Just so that he can get out and run around…  It makes me feel good to do that!  Maybe in my spare time ( and I say that very loosely because I have none at the point in time…) I will be able to volunteer there.   Time will tell…
Deep down…  I know there will never be another dog like my Beau… 

Honey says the dog will come to us…  And we will know him when we see him…  I guess that is true…  It’s been true for Sophie and the cats…  By default Sammy is stuck with us..  all in all  is a wonderful dog as well… 

I just feel this huge void in my heart, that I am afraid will never ever go away… 

The Harry Potter Debate!

My son has really never cared for Harry Potter… He kinda thought it was silly that I was almost obessed over the books.  I don’t know what happened but, here, lately he has had an extreme interest in it.   Asking me questions looking through my books(reading them), asking me about the notes( yes, I wrote notes in the side in my books). And so the great Harry Potter debate with myself starts…

At first I had to ask myself, is he old enough to know better? 
Finally after many conversations with myself and debates…  
Yes, he can handle it.  And so now another Harry Potter fan is born!

First, things first, I had to make sure he knew there was no such thing as Hogwarts, I had to explain about real “whitch-craft” and fake, and he needed to understand that Harry Potter was made up by the brilliant mind of J.K Rowling(so, we took a tour of her website).  
We got down to all the mechanics of it and he fully understood.  Which he thought was really silly because, he knew the books were “fiction” HE already knew all that stuff, because of the  adventure series he likes to read called the Magic Tree-house(wonderful books by the way!)… 
He knew that was fake…  “Silly MOM”   He watched the first movie and read the book…   He is now on the second book and has watched the movie we are now working on the thrid book and movie.
Now, we(meaning HP fans) all know the books and the movies get darker as Voldemort comes into power. 
So, my next deliema was;  Do I let him see the fifth, sixth and seventh movie?  OR should I wait?  Should I allow him to read the books?  or should I wait? 

And my little man did not disapoint me…he has an awesome grasp of life and gets it like most children should. 
He is very well behaved and brave…  Nothing scares him( should that worry me?)  He loves the R.L Stien books “goose-bumps”   sigh… 

Yesterday we were talking about HP and all the things he likes and, he wanted to look online so, he could find the “real human” recipes of all the yummy stuff HP and his friends get to eat. then he blurts out:
Can you tell me who dies? 
I said how do you know someobdy dies? 
He said, “Mom it’s a war people die in wars, like the civil war and Dr. Martin Luther King people die,  and animals die too, like Miss Ruby and Beau”
What can I say to that? 

So, I took out the forth book and we went over it.  He says he wants to read it,(but not after he reads the thrid book)  acutally he told me that his goal was to know more about Harry Potter then I do!  Ha! Fat chance of that happening!! 

Well, the other day he came home from school and told me…  That so and so mother does not allow her to read Harry Potter and that this little girl could not hang out with Chris anymore because he does!!  OF ALL THE STUPIDITY I have EVER HEAD( oh and trust me I have had my fair share…)!! I had to explain to him that yes, we have a great deal of people who do not agree with the books, and find them really evil and bad for people’s minds.  And his response to that was… 
“It takes more then HP to make a person bad.  I read them, I like them, I am not bad”

All in all…  I think he can handle him reading and watching them!  As I said before that little man has got a grasp on the world, better then most adults…  I wish I could see the world through his eyes….

Now if I can only instill, social common sense in that wonderful brain of his…

Um….

Happy New Year! 
WOW!! 
2008 what a whirlwind!  I can’t say it was a “great” year but, not a bad one!  Some aspects of it could have been better, but, every year has it’s good and bad parts!  
Since I can remember I have never had “great” year…  This year is going to be a “great’ year!!!!     

What can you expect from me in the New Year?

*Forgiveness … (CHECK)
 One day I will blog about this…  right now…  I think I have to process it…  It’s a topic all women can relate to in some form…  It’s taken me 11 years to get to the point I am now.  Maybe if I blog it this…  I can help somebody get over being bitter alot faster then I did…
*New Body(check, uncheck and, I will let you know) 
If the NG and Tricare can ever come to terms I might get my Lap Band sometime this year…
*Positive thinking (BIG CHECK!) (as I was proof reading I looked up at the previous topic and I thought to myself…  WOW that’s not very positive is it… HA-HA)
I promise to be more upbeat and POSITIVE!!  I will surround myself with people who are positive thinkers and stay away from “doomsday-ish” people
*I want to grow as a person… 
*I want to grow as a mother…
*I want to grow as a wife…
I did not make New Years Resolutions I have set “small”(very small) goals for myself… 
Wish me luck…