All the colors of the rainbow-Before you Judge!!

17 Mar

Ever see that mommy that has a child that is throwing a fit?  Ever think to yourself all that child needs is a good whiping in the ass?  What if that child has autism?  And something set him/her off that lead to a melt down. 

I was once upon a time one of those mothers.  I know the looks that I used to get in Walmart and I could HEAR the thoughts going through people’s minds! 
It’s not that my children are bad its that “things’ had a tendency to set them off.  Mainly because something was bothering them, a sound, a texture, lights and they could not express their discomfort to me. 
The dirty looks, stares, and comments DO NOT HELP MATTERS!  Is a matter of a fact, all you are doing is fueling the FIRE!  All you are doing is making that mother FEEL MORE like a failure like I did from time to time! 
Finally one day after hearing an especially hurtful comment I turned to the women and said, ” Oh OK you think you can do THIS BETTER??   Do you know what it’s like having TWO special needs children?? Spending TEN FREAKING( I didn’t say freaking I said the king daddy of all cuss words) hours a week at a therapist? YOU LIVE MY LIFE, YOU DEAL WITH WHAT I DEAL WITH…  And still try and stand with dignity… LADY you woudlnt’ make it a mile in my shoes!!!!!”  Maybe not the best role model for my children but, I had, had enough!!!
I am not a bad mother because, my daughter was having a melt down.  I was a bad mother FOR not exposing her to more social situations.  As much as I hate to admit this for a little bit of time while I was mourning because, we parents who have special babies we do mourn… I was embarrassed to admit two in the spectrum, it didn’t make me love my children any less it just made me feel like I had done something to deserve this fate.  Because, society made me FEEL like that!  I have been asked did you drink?  Did you do drugs?  Did you eat alot of sweets?  Did you starve yourself…??  Good gracias NO! NO! NO! NO! IT wasn’t a fate I chose, it was fate that chose me!

Finally, I got some sense about me and I said this isn’t my fault!  I am a great mother with an  AWESOME HEART and GOD doesn’t give his special angels to just anybody!  He gives them to people he feels can handle the weight of raising two special needs children.  We parents do our best under the circumstances, children as is do not come with instruction manuals….  Imagine a twist being thrown into an already confusing situation.  Then having to deal with everything else…  Life, Family, or in my case divorce…  “It’s a long trip alone…”

Do me a favor.  The next time you see that mommy with the child that is being a little bit on the difficult side. Maybe it could be that the child is truely spoiled and is throwing a fit because, he/she can’t get what she wants… But, what if it’s not!
Instead of giving the dirty looks, smile warmly at the mommy.  I am telling you it goes a long ways!

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One Response to “All the colors of the rainbow-Before you Judge!!”

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  1. My Autism treatment site - April 5, 2008

    My Autism treatment site…

    Doctors may be learning another way of detecting exactly what is or isn’ t going on in the brain as it relates to autism or spectrum disorders. Magnetoencephalography (MEG) is showing doctors what works or doesn’ t work in the autistic brain (our beaut…

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