He left a big hole in my heart…

13 Jan

Ever since Oct., I have been trying wrap my mind around my beloved Beau getting ran over… You would think I was over his death…  I am not. 
Beau was the keeper of my secrets all those nights I spent alone…  He was there for me every step of the way…  And he never stopped loving me…  He was an awesome dog… 

I go to the Effingham Co.  Shelter once a week (at least) it’s now a form of therapy.   I spend most of my time in the cat room… I know they don’t get much human interaction they seem so grateful for the time I spend in there, scratching behind their ears, it’s an instant purr (music to my ear)…  They will all paw at the cages each of them vying for my attention.  I wish their living conditions were better!  (When I win the lottery the first thing I am doing to do is donate to the Effingham Co Animal Shelter so, that the cats will get a better room and living space…  The next one I will donate to will be Liberty Co.  )
Then, I venture out into the dog room and I walk by the cages…  These dogs know that they in “jail”…  Nothing anybody can say will convince me otherwise, I walk very slowly, I look carefully at them..  Their eyes tell me everything without words.  Every once in awhile a dog will hit a nerve and I will ask to take him out…  Or I might see a dog that I recognize from other visits and I ask to see the dog…  Just so that he can get out and run around…  It makes me feel good to do that!  Maybe in my spare time ( and I say that very loosely because I have none at the point in time…) I will be able to volunteer there.   Time will tell…
Deep down…  I know there will never be another dog like my Beau… 

Honey says the dog will come to us…  And we will know him when we see him…  I guess that is true…  It’s been true for Sophie and the cats…  By default Sammy is stuck with us..  all in all  is a wonderful dog as well… 

I just feel this huge void in my heart, that I am afraid will never ever go away… 

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One Response to “He left a big hole in my heart…”

  1. Jenny January 14, 2009 at 12:20 am #

    People rarely get over the loss of a loved one (furry or otherwise) in 3 months, be patient with yourself. You may find a new furbaby to join the family but Beau will never be replaced. There will always be a space in your heart for him, but there will also be plenty of room for other puppies.

    Don’t rush yourself; it’s perfectly OK to grieve for Beau. You’ll know when you’re ready for a new addition to the family.

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