Archive | July, 2009

When you can do nothing but, cry…

16 Jul

Humor, positive thinking it’s a wonderful tool when you are down and out-  When I had my emergency surgery earlier this year, they gave me so many drugs that right before I went into surgery, I broke out in hives..  It was the worst!!  What did I do?  Used humor to help combat what I was going through…  It worked… 
I really am not tryng to be a Debbie Downer…  I hate reading those kinda blogs…  But, as of right now my world is upside-down, inside out and I feel like I am a really bad sitcom and I just want out!!  But I can’t get out cause…  This is life!  And you can’t quit it… 

 09 is not the year for me. 
I have had really good points, but, I am sad to report- this half of 09 has been a CRAPTASTIC year…    And it nothing and I mean nothing has gone our/my way!  I/we take one step forward and two steps back. 
So, I have no choice but, to scream at the universe…  ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME– COME ON!  ( best line ever–  If you are a Grey’s Fan..  You understand) 

 It’s no secret that my baby daddy has been absent in my children’s life.  (first two not the twins)
Balls are rolling…  And they have been for sometime… 
( Cryptic I know sorry)
Today I called up the office of  Merritt and Grinstead and thought I was talking to an intelligent person.  I would have settled for a paralegal instead what I got was an ignorant Office Manager( her name escapes me DAMN IT  Yeah I am name dropping something I never DO!!!) who doesnt’ know the first thing about Special Needs children…  more specifically AUTISTIC CHILDREN!!! 
(I really thought she was some who was important had, I known she was a big nobody in this I would not have given her the time of day)
Been dealing with ignorant people about this subject, I have seen and heard it all… Hell I even read a blog where special needs children were compared to DOGS… I have met some real doozies…  But, this took the cake… 
( And the tears are rolling down my cheeks as I write this… )
I explained my situation and I wanted to see what my rights were, in the state of GA laws have changed so drastically, I can’t keep up… 
I told her A, B and C (not gonna bore you guys with gossipy details), the only thing I can say about my ex is  one  is he has always paid child support–  He has to he in the military  somewhere in the conversation She told me…  “That it was up to me to FOSTER the relationship with the children and their father”  “IT WAS THE LAW” — WHOA…  Wait a min I think she missed the mark someplace in our conversation, AFTER I had explained that he hasn’t seen the children (EVER) and that he hasn’t made any attempts and that they are autistic… blah blah blah… 
I was trying to explain to her that You can’t “foster” something that doesn’t want to be “fostered”  she said I was in contempt of court if I wasn’t doing this.   WHAT!!! 
This man who has never been in the children’s lives EVER, has more rights then I DO!!!???

 I wish I was hiding birthday cards and Christmas presents!  
 I wish I was preventing the children from seeing this man.  He doesn’t want them never has, never will. 

What am I afraid of then? 

Ask yourself this:  
You are a teenager or younger and this man walks into your life, and, you knew he was their but, has never made an effort to make contact with and says “I am your father”  ( he-he…  Kinda Stars Wars like LUKE I AM YOUR FATHER..  COMPLETE with heaving breathing… he-he)
 Don’t you think it would put a monkey wrench in your life?  Now add in a disability…
I haven’t hid the children’s father from them, they just have a REALLY hard time wrapping their mind’s around that.  Can you blame them?? 
I have a time wrapping my mind around it.
And this Office manager tells me I need to “foster a relationship”.  How?  I think anybody with a lick of sense would really not give out that advice, the law is NOT  BLACK AND WHITE! 
This women who has never laid eyes on my divorce decree or anything else for that fact…  She doesn’t know me or the struggles I have been though,…  SHE ASSUMED, and it was really wrong!

Oh it gets better… (he-he) I call my mom bawling my eyes out..  Heaving sobs even…  And my mom calls the office( cause mom is just as pissed as I am )  And she told my mom she “NEVER SAID THAT”  Oh yes, because I use the phrase –“foster relationship” ALL THE FLIPPIN TIME!  If she didn’t say that, how on earth did I come up with that?  I appreciate her thinking I am THAT smart(thanks for that) but, honestly had NEVER heard that term my whole life until this afternoon.  She called me a liar!  Real nice customer service skills, the finest in town( sarcasm )

My advice to all Hinesville, GA residents who want REAL LEGAL ADVICE don’t go to the Merritt side of things, I am all about supporting small business..  Honestly I am…  But, I cannot support a business when they degrade a potential client and make people feel as bad as I was made to feel today. 

I’d like to know WHEN we mother’s lost our rights to protect our children?  I’d like to know when did dead beat father’s get more rights then the mother’s did?  Please somebody help me understand this..  I am open for discussion