New Month… New Leaf…

1 Dec

How do I start my blog??   With Doom and Gloom or on a Happy Festive note…  Hmmm…  Ok

How about a cliff notes on the Doom and Gloom???   And how about I concentrate on what I am going to be working on in terms of bettering ME? Yeah I think I like that better!!

I will start from Oct 28, 09 my girly surgery ( Vaginal hysterectomy) 
No longer live in the same place (sad about that…  But, we are money-saving mode)
Live with parents while Honey finds us a place in Hotlanta( Which really turned out to be a blessing all in itself)
Got my girly plumbing taken out-  Complications ( came home with a cath because they found a small hole in my bladder. that is the definition of HELL, Not to mention a couple of crashes on the table …  Nice huh?)
Ended a couple of friendships( Very sad and my feelings are still hurt but, very necessary)
Almost died( I HAVE Pulmonary embolism(s) (yes plural, and yeah I still have them…  and will have them for about six months or longer of my life…)
And now…  I am on blood thinners for the next 6 months or so
Oh Yeah…( this just in yesterday)  Honey got into a car accident and totalled a car that has seen- Eight kids, two divorces, three weddings… And an ASS load of Drama!  It wasn’t the prettiest car to look at – but, never the less…  I am sad it had such a horrible fate!-  By the way..  Honey is fine ( Thank you God AGAIN!!!)
My Dog died- That’s two in a year span( RIP Sammy Bear!  He died of natural causes…  A heart attack…  Nobody’s fault)

WHEW was that a lot to take in!!  Did y’all get all of that…  If not I will give you a second to read it again!

I have turned over a new leaf( well again but, foreal this time!).. 
And the sobering truth of the matter is I SHOULD NOT BE HERE WRITING this!! 
I was allowed to live because God preformed a miracle in my life, just like the day he breathed life into my son!  And I think I am running out of lives and, I just don’t want to test that out… 

Now I have already failed one test…  Ugh.  I allowed somebody to get under my skin and OH boy what drama did I cause( Ok did you see I how took responsiblity over some of the situation?  See I knew I should have kept my mouth shut… But, I didn’t and I CHOSE to fight…  You just have NO idea how many different times I have had to keep my mouth shut…  Any who!!  Yes, I know in ways I was wrong… )!  Ugh!  And Why?  Because I have no trust  in my  husband… 
Was I really in a state to be arguing????  You bet your booty I WAS NOT!  Still am not…  It was like an outside body experience…  Inside I was telling myself to “SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!!  But, my body kept going over and over and over…  Awful…)

When I turned over a new leaf…  I wiped the slate clean with my husband…  Oh yeah another D&G( oh that’s my short-term for Doom and Gloom) thing…
My marriage in the complete crapper…  Forgot about that…( see clean slate <smiles>) 
So, in order to keep my promise to God, I pray on a daily basis that he helps me with my short fuse and when I do start breaking down I pray that God gives me the strength to keep my big mouth SHUT and TRUST! 
Pick your battles, don’t sweat the small stuff!  Trust me on this…  Life is too short and if you tell God your going to turn over a new leaf… Trust me he listens and he will be expecting you to keep your promise. 

Life has a way of humbling you…  Don’t let it be the hard way…  I want everybody to take a good look in the mirror today and admit truthfully one of your faults and challenge yourself to work on just that one!  We as humans will never be perfect BUT, we can improve and become better people! 

In the mean time  I will work on trusting  my husband!

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