The year was 1989…(Theme song Thrus)

We had just moved from Colorado Springs to Baumhoder Germany… And I HATED IT!!
Then… I started making friends…
And I started to get use to the German culture and food… and such… My family made sure we traveled
And Germany started becoming home…
You see growing up a military brat I really don’t have “hometown” home was were my dad hung his hat… And let me tell you something…
I wouldn’t take that back for nothing. for a minute I really was a little bitter but, not anymore.
I grew up with an open mind.
I grew up with a worldly mind. And you can’t take back that kind of culture.
You read about the Berlin wall coming down, I experienced it! First hand… I have rocks from it… That I chipped away…
You watch documentaries about concentration camps. I’ve been to one.
I’ve experienced history.

I’m OK with not having a hometown…
Hometown N/A I’m an Army Brat.. The WORLD is my hometown!

The year is 1989…

Pick me… Choose Me… Love Me… (Theme Song…Thurs)

I am late again! 
I was on my way to Atlanta…  And I have been consumed with this and that’s of, this and that’s…  (Ha!)

This Thursday was the Grey’s Anatomy Season Finale.  And if you watched it.  WOW!  Talk about a shocker.  I said last year, “I have NO idea how Shonda is going to be able to top herself …” 
And she did!  She really did… 
I am still recovering from PDESD ( Post Dramatic End Season Disorder) 
Here you go, for all your GA fans I found some old school:
(I’ll write more later… ) I have to re-pack and mentally prepare myself for the trip back!

Somethings I have picked up over time/learned from other people…(Random)

1.  I can’t should NEVER enter your vocabulary!  You can!
2.  False/Pretend pregnancies and attempted suicides.. BAD WAY to keep somebody around (remember Fatal Attraction)!! 
3.  Horoscopes FUN! But just remember…  EVERYBODY will be having the same bad day as you…
4.  No matter what skin color we are..  We all bleed the same color… 
5.  Don’t you DARE judge that momma at Wal-Mart with the screaming BABY!!  You never know!! 
6.  Smile!
7.  Smile and nod!
8.  If your going to put your life ‘out there” somebody is going to say something BAD about you… Grow thick skin!
9.  Karma  Is like a double chin… it will creep up on you slowly…
10.  Yes, that EX is sizing you up and she has bad stuff to say about you… No matter how pretty you are… and no matter how much he traded up…  You are the ass end of the joke!  It’s the circle of EX’s Girlfriends/boyfriends…!
11.  Girlfriend self-esteem/ Boyfriend self-esteem different things! 
12.  Do something nice for  yourself  everyday…
13.  Figure out WHO YOU ARE (alone)…
14.  plant a garden ONCE and if you like it do it over and over again!
15.  Finish something… Anything!  Just finish it.. 
16.  Once you finish that ONE thing… Start something new and finish that…
17.  Love who you are! 
18.  Love who you see in the mirror( yes they are different!)
19. Take care of your body, heart and soul ( you will need them to be strong one day!)
20.  Be nice to mother nature and animals…
21.  Be that friend that can get, “that phone call” at 3:00am…
22.  Join a non-profit!
23.  Find something your passionate about!
24.  Eat Breakfast…
25.  Careful who you talk about..  Never know your lies could get back to that person!
26.  Stick up for WHO you are and what you believe…
27.  Be a vault…
28.  Take a lesson from Grey’s anatomy  Dance it out- Dancing Makes You BRAVE!
29.  It’s OK to mourn!
30.  Be all end all question.  Do all men cheat? Careful how you answer that!!
31.  Never say never…  You just NEVER know!
32.  Be HUMBLE NOT BOASTFUL…
33.  One day Pay it forward…
34.  Find your soul mate… 
35.  Everybody has a past.  Be mindful of that…
36.  We all learn at our own pace… Some of us just take longer.  Patience goes a long ways!
37.  We all need that friend that is going to tell us when our ass looks big in those jeans and when we have muffin top… ( you want that friend!!)
38.  GUILT… horrible way to get something from somebody!  UGH!!  Don’t you want it done from the heart??  –  Yes!  You do!!  Remember that!
39.  That friend that will tell you about your ass… make sure you take with you on all your shopping trips!  Trust me!  Your pictures will thank you later!
40.  I am sure I will be able to add-on to this list!   Words of wisdom anybody…??

Absolutely Humbled!! (Girls on the Run 5/15/2010)

Today started like any other Sat.  since I started doing 5k’s ( Feb 14th, 2010 Love Run)  Today I had the “internal struggle…” ( as usual)   515 am… 
BOO!  Even.. 
Trust me.. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I would have rather been sleeping( come on it’s a Sat. I’d rather be sleeping, and about to go and abuse my body  *excuse me* race..
If you read my blog here you’ll see my pre-race routine it doesn’t change.
So…
Honey and I get to Savannah State for the Girls on the Run 5K
It’s Chaos!  BOO!
Not to mention they run out of Pins!  UGH!  So, I can’t pin my race # on…  I am sooo bummed..!  I feel cheated!  I come up with something creative! I have to tuck my # in my skirt(a hot pink running one YAY) (still pissed…) 

They called “it” – And by “it”- I mean … ( line-up )
I put my head phones on..  get my warm up music on…
Put on Run Keeper…(By the way Run Keeper- you are no longer my friend!!! I found out about 1/2 that the GPS didn’t get the location.. BOO)
Runners On Your Mark…  GO!
Off I went…
And my body starts hurting!  
All I can think about is:  I just want to get to the finish line!
That’s my goal..
My breathing(check) Stride (widen a little, D tilt your hips… There you go that *feels* better…And open your hands… YES!  CHECK) Music(check) 
This race NO Timers, No mile markers( so, I take back what I said about mile markers!  I LOVE mile markers!!)

I get caught up with somebody who I had seen at last weekend’s race and I asked ” does this course seem longer to you?”
She said “YES”
I don’t know why this course just seemed to go on forever!!  Maybe it was the inclines?  Maybe it was because, I was thinking about the apple juice that I drank… When I knew better?  I don’t know?  But WOW…  Talk about pain!

Finally!   Water station…
HEAVEN! 
I’m parched…(I crammed hydration… BOO ME) 
I don’t drink the entire glass enough to get my mouth wet…  HEAVEN!  

I have NO idea how much further I have to go… (again no mile markers… I miss those)
But, my body is streaming AT ME… PLEASE STOP!  My brain is saying… NO!! GO D!
GO! 
Look at you! 
GO D GO! 
It’s an internal struggle! 
I want to quit!  But, I don’t I move.. 
I keep moving that’s it… that’s all I have to do it move right??  MOVE!   That’s it!  I take off again!  My body just wants to give out!  BUT my mind…  Is telling me that’s it girl… DO IT…
GO GIRL GO!  

Then I see… WTOC… Documenting my pain.. AND you know what I want to do? 
Give them the finger!  Yep! 
I know classy right?  I feel as though they are mocking me… HAHA!
I smile and wave! 
(internally I give them the finger!  It was my private up your’s HAHA)

Finally I see it the Stadium!  And then I see them!  
The smiling faces!   That’s them my twins, my husband! 
And they run in with me… GO MOMMA GO!  
Run in HARD! 
I see the finish line.. all I can think is… DEAR GOD.. “Give me wings… 
All I want is to finish…  This God-forsaken-longest-5k-of-my-life!!!”  And I hear,  “And here is another runner for a hard finish…” MUSIC to my ears!!! 
I’m DONE!

Now I hardly ever stick around for the closing ceremonies! 
No point I never win anything…(It’s really just me wanting to sit in my van a have the air blow on my face and if I have to throw up I’d kinda like to do it in private then, in front of a good bit of people… I’d rather keep my dignity like that!)
But, Honey is a fantastic runner… So, we have been lately… on the off-chance he places… Because he is that good!  And here is another thing I didn’t know… they give out-door prizes… So, I am going to start sticking around!  

At this 5K  door prizes(YAY)- I am so sure I am not going to win anything I take off my shoes!  HMMM..   Guess what?  I won a door prize!  A swatch watch!  HAHA awesome!

Then they start calling off winners for the age groups!  I told Honey we needed to stick around, I had a feeling he was going to place…  He said NO WAY! 
Sure enough 1st place in his age group!  
Then they called- My age group second place Dolores S. I yelled, “WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
  And sure enough here walks up Honey with my pendant!  I was floored! 
Humbled! 
Still am!  I really cannot believe that ME snail moving ME… 
PLACED! 
I could say 1000000000000 reasons WHY I probably  did…:
1. They did not have  enough participants in my age group 
2.  They saw me crying at the end and felt bad for me! 
3. WTOC was mind reader and, KNEW I was giving them the bird and, said hey give that girl a pendant just for having heart OK… And she also gave us the mental bird!! 
 Whatever the case is… 
This is my 7th or 8th 5K I earned that pendant! 

I will wear it everyday to remind me that ANYTHING is possible…  Because, I have that internal struggle every single damn day!  Days that I just don’t want to work out…  Days that I want to eat chips (MY WEAKNESS) and things that are not good for me!  But, I now have a reminder!  Something tangible that I can see and touch! I’ve gone from a size 22 to a size 16  and that is something I can see and that is VERY rewarding but, this, this is very, different!  This is something I can wear around me neck and think ” I did this…”
I get up at 5:15 on Saturdays and DO SOMETHING because, it makes me feel good! 
Because, it makes me feel good in my jeans ( that don’t fit).
Because, it makes me feel good to drop *those* clothes off at the Goodwill.
Because it makes my trainer proud… 
BECAUSE I WILL INSPIRE, somebody to         do something , about their lifestyle that I was living a year ago…!! 

So,  if DOLORES can DO IT ANYBODY CAN!  Take that to the bank… Get off the couch and I will SEE YOU AT THE NEXT 5K RIGHT!?!?

Even if I have EVER pissed you off!

Think of this as the most interesting delurking project you’ll ever participate in. After giving back to others at the Celebratory Society, I have decided to participate in it myself. You can understand the project in full by clicking here, but in brief, the Celebratory Society is an online festschrift for a blogger–a way for you to tell me what my blog or actions mean to you. But this isn’t about me–this is about you too. And I would love it if you returned to your own blog, started your own Celebratory Society post, added it to the main project list, and gave me the opportunity to tell you about…you.

Here’s your chance to tell you what I mean to you and what my blog has meant to you.  I am giving you a chance for YOU and YOU and YOU to tell me how you feel about ME and then, I will return the favor!  It’s all kinda like bloggin Karma!  So give it a whril!

Theme song Thurs.(A Day late I know) I made IT!!!

So, From time to time- I listen to a Top 40 Station… And this song came on!  And thought this has a  I was this a nice catchy beat… I started bobbing my head… 
Didn’t think anything of it. 

Then next time I was in my car it came on again…  I listened a little closer and these lines sold me on it: 

I look up to the sky
and now the World is mine
I’ve known it all my life
I made it, I made it!
I used to dream about, the life I’m living now
I know that there’s no doubt.
I made it, I made it!

Now, I don’t have money falling from the sky!  I wish I did…  But, I feel like I do! 
YES!  I feel like a million $$  Like I can do anything!  I didn’t do it alone!  I have one person to thank-Jillian Rowe!  She pushed me believed me in me!  AND I HAVE NO intention of stopping!  I know I can do anything! 
I walk with a confidence I haven’t had in years.  I can walk into a room and think.  I am one of the “coolest” people here. 
And I don’t have to sell myself!  And why?  Because, I believe it!  Heart and SOUL!  That’s right guys I MADE IT!  It only took 34 years…  Yeah, I’m a late bloomer!  And look at what it took!  But, I’m here…  MAKING IT!!  It’s a little rap-ish…  but, I MADE IT!!

Every tear that fell from my eye…

Something amazing happened this weekend! 
I did the Azalea Run this weekend in Savannah GA.  Absolutely BEAUTIFUL!   I love these early mornings runs (I’m not a fan of afternoon races) I can’t think of another way to spend my Saturday and when I’m not racing my body feels like, it’s missing something…  

I take it very serious!  It’s not just me going “out there” and doing a 5K. 
Six months ago I was dying… 
All I could do was lie in bed and  pray… ” Please God, heal me I promise to never abuse my body EVER AGAIN!” 

I’ve had this trust issue with my body!  I have been AFRAID…  Even though I’m doing “stuff” and going above and beyond what I know I can do… I didn’t want to break out of my comfort zone.  “I can’t run fast because, what if the Dr’s are wrong and I still have a clot in my lung…” 
” What if… What if… What if…”

Sat.  May 8, 2010
5:10 Alarm goes off.  I didn’t want to get out of… It was an internal struggle. 
5:45 Eat pre-race meal
6:40 Out the door
Get to Forsyth Park about 7:30
And then it hits me…  The excitement!  And I start to take it all in…

8:00 They call runners( My favorite part)
Husband and I tell each other ” Have a good race… He says I’ll you at the finish line” 

GO!

Here starts my journey… 
I start my warm up walk…  Then my body let’s me know when it’s time to start jogging and off I went…
Then the hard part starts.
Everything in my body starts hurting…
I push through it…  Breathing(check) Stride(check) Music(check) 
My body starts REALLY hurting… I push through it…
I can’t stop…
Just MOVE… 
Just push through it..
Then, I reach my “zone” now for me this is really delicate…  Anything can throw me off…  ANYTHING!   
For this race… A twisted knee OUCH!  And I heard a pop… OUCH… 
I walk, No stopping…”Quitting is not an option…”
I would rather carry my bloody stump of my body over the finish line then QUIT!! 
My side  starts hurting…(BOO)
I keep going…
I pick it up… And start jogging( Did I tell you I’m really not allowed to jog)
No stopping! 
NO QUITTING!
So, I jog and I get into another groove not the same groove I had… 
By this time I hit the 2 mile mark… and I am in pain… I can either STOP-Which means LOSER! or I can limp through this…

What did I do?
I picked up my pace and I went for the gusto!  NO MORE EXCUSES…!!  My body was screaming at me! 
(It’s Ok…  We were downtown and not to far from a hospital if my injuries are THAT bad… We could have gone in)
I turn the corner…I see the finish line…
I see the clock… I cannot! 
WILL NOT, let the clock turn over again!! 
I sprint to the finish line…  and the clock stood still! 
Another personal best!  I win! 
No more being afraid!  No more “What IF” were in my head.  It was me and my head on straight… You can do this Dolores… GO!!! GO!!!! GO!!!!…  Your doing this!  Your amazing…!!!!  YOU GO GIRL!!!!

It’s Ok I’m not the fastest runner out-there…   What matters is that I am doing something.  And I am keeping a promise!  A promise I intend to keep… 

I can’t tell you how many tears have fallen from my eyes during training and during these 5k’s…  They are all worth it!  I am sure I will be crying more tears! 
Here’s to years of more races, marathons and triathlons… 

Wouldn’t trade those tears for anything!!

Theme song Thurs! I’ve got a sign on MY BACK!

Kick me!  Seriously! 
Yeah… and then kick me again! 
Then when your done…
Just kick me some more… and when I’m down… don’t stop! 

That is how my week has gone!  However… Everywhere I have looked EVERYBODY has, had just about the same week.  I have no idea who put the bad MOJO in the water but, let me kick your A** Ok…  Because, you’re a Wanker!  And BIG FAT WANKER! 

And if you’ve had a good week… congrats!  You made it through what I will call hell week! 
Is a matter of a fact…  Let me shake your hand!

What did I learn through this? 
Somebody else has it worse… And you know what else I learned?  That person that had it worse…  Had it with a smile on their face! 

So, world HERE”S MY SMILE!  I’M SMILING! 

So, here’s my theme song
“If your going through HELL” 

“But the good news
Is there are angels everywhere out on the street
Holding out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one’s that you’ve been dragging for so long
You’re on your knees
You might as well be praying
Guess what I’m saying

If your going through hell
Keep on going, don’t slow down
If you’re scared don’t show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you’re there”